For the first time in a looooooooooooooooooooong time I am really looking forward to Christmas. I’m spending it with my parents, my bro and my eldest sis and its all happening in Glasgow. My dad has put my on the insurance of his car so I can share the driving so that should be interesting! Anyway its an odd thing cause i am really excited about christmas. The last couple of years have been really s**te. As a result of that I’ve stopped myself from feeling. I’ve put all that means dear to me at arms length and avoided thinking and taking it all in. I stopped doing that and now i really do have a new Zest for life! I’m not only excited about christmas but I’m looking forward to what the next year has in store for me!
Spending it in Glasgow is gonna be great! It will be the first christmas since i was a small kid where i’ll be with kids who are gonna get so excited and be jumping around waiting for Santa! It’s gonna be ACE!
I did a wee video for my nearest and dearest which i sent out a few days ago but i thought i’d let everyone see it as it is quite a powerful video that inspires one of those things that christmas is all about – Love! Sorry for the soppiness but its true! – OFFLINE
So many lads out there are suffering what is known as the “Nice Guy” complex! I have been know to suffer this affliction too but i wanna actually question this. Maybe this is me getting out of said complex and maybe not i dunno but what i do know is that i think its a pile of s**te to be honest!
Women apparently want a man who is, as a good friend of mine put it on her myspace “a guy who’s sensitive in general but macho in emergencies” are we not that way by default? I know this complex is more to do with how a man feels about himself. Its the confidence thing and general attitude towards life. But I cant help but think half the time women don’t really know what they want themselves. Ok so you want a guy who’s strong, stands up for his beliefs and what he loves and wont let himself be trampled on. Fair enough but you also want a guy who is sensitive and understanding to your needs and all that jazz. I know so many good blokes who are all of the above and yet they still get labeled with the complex. Frankly I’m kinda thinking that i don’t really care anymore! If you don’t like me then sod off! I am the way i am take it or leave it!
I am one of those “Nice Guys” at the end of the day I’m probably a better and stronger man than any gimpy “bad boy” who will probably end up playing all the women he meets for fools! Nice Guys are taken for granted and that is where i see the problem lying!
Where does this all come from? I guess I was thinking about my previous relationships and especially those which ended from getting treated like poo! Yes you all remember the Princess! Anyway. I’m tired of all the pickiness! You know, I know I aint perfect. I’d be the first to openly admit it – hey look, i just did. But the point is you aint either! However! Guys like me are willing to take a chance and see how things go. When in a relationship with someone you have an affect on them. You change them! You Change each other and in a good relationship you help each other grow as human beings and become better people!
Going to go do some shopping for prezzies!
I realise that too some of my friends I have become really unreliable – another thing that needs to change. This weekend was a prime example. I didn’t call certain people when i said i would and this is really bad. Also I had a commitment on Sunday which i didn’t follow through on albeit for another very good reason of which i am not really wanting to share with the world. The point is I had a wee lapse but am getting straight back on that horse of making change my bitch!
I’ve been moaning about my s**tty life on and off for the past few years but not actually doing much about it. Things are changing. I am forcing change. Change is hard. Change is not easy but in order to progress and improve your life, change is essential. I’m trying to get my a**e in gear and be a hell of a lot more proactive and also trying to stop being such a lazy dork. Laziness is part of the root of all the problems I’ve been having. I have been trapped in a cycle that has been pretty self destructive. While working from home is great the bad things about it are that I never do get out much!! Its sad but true. Social interaction has been limited and I’ve missed it. I’ve had days where i se no-one and don’t leave the house which is utterly miserable. Laziness does not inspire me to get out and do stuff. Ok the lack of work has not helped but I realize i have come so engrossed in the importance of money. As a result i have for gotten what’s really important. Yeah its true I’ve been broke alot of the time but i know loads of people who are in the same financial boat and yet they still manage to get out and see their friends and do stuff.
I am tired of moaning and so sick of the person I have turned in to. I don’t actually like the person I am now and need to get back to the person I used to be. I know its not completely possible but it would be nice to get back some of the enthusiasm for life, the vigor and the fun – yeah The FUN. I’m 28 years old. I stay in all the time and do not alot. How pathetic is that! I’m sick of maoning and not really doing anything about it. Now – I AM doing something about it!
Come on change! I’m gonna make you my bitch!
In other news: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!!!!!
So I sent out a christmas email to a bunch of people in my address book, one of those was Tika! So just now i got a responce from her – TIKA IS GETTING MARRIED!!!!
This was sort of a kick in the teeth at first! Her email said sh’ed had a really good year and lots of positive things had happenned and that our last contact helpt her move one. This was all quite shocking! Overall I am really happy for her. But man when i read that it blew me away – my jaw hit the floor! I have never had anything stop me in my tracks like that!