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Most ironic spam email ever!

By FAIL, Work No Comments

SPAM! [don't buy] dѧvid via Compfight

I manage and run a few websites for different clients and along with that is dealing with the spam that some of them get hit with. I have tools to deal with spam and usually only about 3-5% gets through the net.

This morning one of those slippery blighters got through then net which resulted in me literally coughing out a very audible giggle in the middle of the queue in the post-office.

Here is a screen grab of said email:

This made my day – what’s been making yours?

Ten Years with Orange

By FAIL 2 Comments

This morning I received the above text message.


I’m speechless.

I’m struggling with how to react.

I decided to read the terms which made me almost lol with great volume in the office (…I stipulate almost as it really wasn’t that emotional an event):

£5 free credit terms and conditions
1. This offer is available to selected Orange Pay Monthly personal customers at the invitation of Orange.
2. To accept the offer you need to text YES to the number provided by midnight on the date advised on your invitation message.
3. The credit will be added to your account within 24 hrs and you will be notified by text when it has been set up and is ready to use.
4. The credit will be put toward any billable event on the mobile bill (eg, calls, texts or data usage), except monthly line rental.
5.    The credit is valid for 6 months.    Any credit not used by that date will expire.
6. If the customer’s mobile contract is terminated before the anniversary credit is fully consumed then any remaining balance will expire.
7. Orange reserves the right to amend, vary or cancel these terms and conditions or to withdraw this offer at any time after giving reasonable notice.
8. Service is subject to the Standard Terms and Conditions for the Supply of Orange Network Services, a copy of which can also be found at the back of your Orange phone User Guide. Where there is any inconsistency between these Terms and Conditions and the Terms and Conditions for the Supply of the Orange Network Services, the latter will prevail.

This is my knee-jerk response:

and it reminds me of The Orange Fail Saga which can be found when you search for “Orange” on this site.

I’m left wondering whether in point 2 if I’ll be charged for that text message.

I’m left wondering after in point 4 what i will use this for.

I’m left wondering after point 6 why the valid duration limit?

Should I be grateful for such a generous gift or should I be outraged by such a skimpy pathetic attempt at a reward policy?

I don’t want to be an ungrateful plonker who is moaning about this but it kinda feels like seeing someone sneezing in to their hand and then receiving a wet handshake.

I asked my colleagues and friends what they would have expected from a mobile phone company after 10 years of service:

  • 4 said that one should have any handset upgrade for free
  • Free cinema tickets
  • 1 suggested a free meal at a choice of leading restaurants
  • 2 said that one should receive one month free contract
  • 1 suggested 6 months free insurance

I kind of want them to take it back.

This is one of those experiences that has left a really nasty sour taste in my mouth.

Thank you Orange for yet again unbelievably smashing all hope I had for you being a really great organization. My expectations have truly been swiped from under my feet and i find myself yet again in a state if dismal free fall.

If I was a Dragon, at this stage I’d be saying “I’m out!”

So how should i move forward?

What do you think i should do?

Orange, Finally an address to write to..

By FAIL, Techie, Via Phone No Comments


I thought i’d post the mailing address that i have been recommended using. The lovely staff member i spoke to y’day told me that the systems is a biut pants and in order to really get somewhere i should try this address:

Compliance Team,

Astral House,

Orange PLC,

Senhouse Road,

Lingfield Way,


County Durham,

DL1 4YG.

So, if you have had any bad Orange experiences i suggest you write to them.


The conclusion of y’days call was that i am being sent a “refurbished” replacment handset. Great!  I wonder howe many of these i’ll have to get through before it gets really stupid.

I’m going to play both fields until i get rid of this total-piece-of-crap phone.

Some interesting info in the mean time:

  • Trade Descriptions Act 1968

New phone not working…AGAIN!!!!

By FAIL, Techie 3 Comments

All i really want is a phone that works! Is that too much to ask?

I’ve had it just over a week and it has been failing me over and over and over….

  • Constant Crashing
  • Constant freezing
  • Not booting with USB plugged in
  • Video recording freezes
  • Sound goes out of sync with recorded video
  • Screen goes glitchy in camera mode
  • music/pod-casts stutter
  • not picking up calls.
  • not connecting to PC


Other faults that are more of an annoyance and may not be classed as faults include:

  • Loudspeaker activation is hard to navigate to
  • unlocking screen requires one to many presses
  • unlocking screen requires depressing answer key which is just in the wrong place.
  • screen is easily scratched to crap

On paper this phone is AMAZING! its sad though that the most amazing thing about it has turned out to be the frequency at which it fails me…